D&D 5.0 of Exiled Kingdoms


I had a Exiled Kingdom themed sex party. Where do I send the royalty check?
Well, I say it was Kingdom theme, but it was just me and a bunch of trolls....
Sex party? I'm in. I'll stop shaving and come as a sexy Ursan with a big hammer ;)
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What happened at the fourth session?
The group disbanded after getting the reward from Captain Whitewater. Seryu and Naeneris went to Kingsbridge.
At the way, they've found Vola, a half-orc. Together they marched to Kingsbridge for business.
Afternoon, day 4.​

"Planetary Engineer David C Val, mission report 001."

"Travel Log, Day 04. FTL Warp Jump completed without incident. Entering Andor Planetary System. Looks pretty chill out here. Commencing landing procedure now."

Umm... Eh... Ah yes, here is the landing button. It's always the red one, I'm sure.

Note to self: it was not the red button. Never press the red button again.

(Space telephone ringing)

"Captain! What a pleasure. Yes. Planetary Engineer David C Val here. Yes. I just landed safely on planet Andor. ... Uh uh. Yes. Yes. Uh uh. ... I understand. I swear. Of course not, sir! Why would I have pressed the red button? ... Last time? Oh. Yes. That was an unfortunate accident. Billions dead, a planet lost. Indeed. I'm so sorry about it. It won't happen again, sir. Not this time anyway. ... Yes. Uh uh. Yes. ... Colorblind? Me? That is a ludicrous accusation, sir. I see perfectly well all colors, sir. All two of them. ... Yes. Will do sir."

Now, my Andorian Portuguese should be good enough to communicate with the human locals. I'm even wearing my casual clothes to blend in perfectly. But just to be safe, I should deploy one of my Diplomacy Drones to establish first contact. First impression is always so very important...

(Throws a space pokeball)
(A Diplomacy Drone appears!)​

"Bzz Clck Clck Bzz Brrr
- Ah, my lovely drone. Your mission is to track down Unregistered Muud'ari Naeneris and his companions, and establish a diplomatic first contact, as gently as possible.
- Bzz Bzz Brrr
- Indeed. Activate your charismatic diplomacy protocole 009077. Find them, and, as is protocole, gently extract an eye or a finger from each specimen for genetic analysis.
- Clck Bzz Bzz Clck
- Yes, very gently. We don't want to scare them off! Then you get back to me with the extracted genetic samples.
- Bzz Brrr
- Exactly, with love and care. Good boy!"
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Sorry, the gossip at the inn is your hammer is aptly called Despair. Small, fast and infected. So come back when you find a two-handed maul. Think Maul of Garrak. Large, powerful, and electric.

Good luck on the campaign.

Despair? You're mistaken with my ex. He barely had a poison dagger in hand, and I'm being generous. Loll

I assure you, good gentleman, that my knighthood is quite the heavy equipment of every young squire's dream! I wield a 3-handed weapon, such is the weight of my honor that help is indeed needed to defy nature's gravity. The bards who sing tales of my grandeur end up in dungeons, for jalousy and fear are sowed everywhere my reputation goes.

Pneumatic Mallet
“Shifts its own weight in mid-swing to make your blows devastating and effortless.”
(This description is the medieval version of the modern dick pic. Please accept as proof. Loll)


New Member

Hello guys, how are you all? It's been a while, almost 2 years... yeah, a really while.
The campaign was over because after the reveillon the group begun disbanding. I tried to unite the scarced members and make a normal 5 players team to keep going, but not everything will go according to plan. That being said, I got problems in university and they stopped wanting to play. The campaign closed, with 12 characters between lvl 4 to 6, and likely 20% completed campaign. I was making the campaign better by getting more information, drawing the maps and etc, but then, in July 2022 I lost ALL MY DIGITAL MEDIA, including months of maps and more than 60 pages of anotations. I gave up on this.

But things are different now! Very much different!!!
I'm going to open the campaign again, but this time we'll play in person, not online. The team will be 5 members, and the preparations are being made! The campaign will begin after I defend my monography, the last thing before graduating <3

There are some stuff to be done with the campaign too. Probably in 11/25 or 12/02 we'll make the first session! Until there, I'll return here and show you guys the 5 characters taking part in this GREAT ADVENTURE!!!

One last thing, I want to record this campaign and put it on YouTube, because 5 hours of vídeo each session... Yeah, this is a tremendous size. And we also can watch it from whenever we want to! They will never be monetized though. Obviously only with permission of @DavidBVal I'll be recording the sessions.
As we play, I'll be uploading this thrend (and maybe the YouTube). I'm so excited to be back!!!
Oh, and of course, as we are brazilians we'll be talking portuguese, so most people here won't understand the videos if we make it. Still this would be very nice!

So that's it, sorry for being gone for 2 years, RPG wasn't on my best side. I hope everything goes smooth from now on. Thank you all for being part of this universe!


Staff member
Obviously only with permission of @DavidBVal I'll be recording the sessions
Of course you can. Looking forward to the vids! I hope you guys have a lot of fun.

And I know that's not your current plan, but if you somehow monetize the videos via ads, that is fair use as well.


New Member
Back again I come, for you guys knowledge I bring.
Thank you David. I am also looking forward. And I'm sure we'll have fun!
3 of the 5 players already made their characters. As soon as they all have them and their backgrounds, I'll present them here. As for now, let me update with progress of things we are organizing (like a devlog but it's not dev):

-> I've already organized some documents to help me with lore and world creation:
- Knowledge about factions, kingdoms, clans, etc. What they'll know in first hand and what they can discover;
- history of EK, in a timeline, with most of the events, known or not;
- places and their characteristics;
- the NPCs populating the world and their characteristics (and some of them are main ones with the whole sheet);
- the main part: missions!
These documents are not complete yet. I'm replaying the game and taking those notes as I find them in my playthrough. But for the beginning of the D&D campaign, it's already more than enough.

-> I am finding maps to make the battle sprites and backgrounds, like mine entrance, pathway in the middle of the forest, open field like a vale, etc. I'll print and plastify the prints so we can use it. Simple, but nice! Already have the beginning set too, only need to print them.

-> I'm going to create the NPCs and monsters sheets to help myself within the battle. Already have some, but I want to make some unique like Itharrak, the firedancer, enraged minotaur, and other ones;

-> Audio and video for recording, sound box and tracklist: soon I'll prepare them;

-> master barrier, battle iniciative order and other stuff like those to make the playthrough more practice are still to be sought too. We are also going to buy a dice set for each player!

-> I already revisited the whole DM guide and the adventurer's guide, as also made a smaller version of the adventurer's one. It'll be good for us to have it to search for rules in the middle of the sessions;

-> Magical items are being the biggest thing to do. I have 200 magical items inside the Dungeon Master's guide, yes. But we have, like, 400 INSIDE THE GAME!!! I already made the magical weapons though, and got more than 100, and there are some that I'll add later, some unique weapons.

That's it for today. Soon enough I'll present the characters and in one month (more or less) we'll begin!!!


New Member
I'm back with updates! And the times were exactly as I thought. For now, we have 4 completed characters, and the one of my girlfriend is still not made (she is having hard time with college). Tomorrow we'll make it too and then they all are done!
The four already made are:
A Berserker, no background yet. I don't remember the race. She will be completed soon enough.
A mage, half-elf (high elf), hates Mercia, hates warlocks, has crush on a Varannari, knows the entire kingdom of Thuram, except DeepFrost (who plays the game knows it). He knows his whole familly (they're all warlocks) makes their pact with an evil entity. He believes it is a Deep Lord, but soon he will know the Deep Lords are just Muud'Ari and their planet has no magic. Another thing is making pact with them. (You can create theories already, but remember to put in spoilers).
A ranger, half-elf. Descendant of a... wealthy guy? That sent a magical letter to him. (In the game it is the protagonist. Here he is one of the five). His live is close to what the Main Character of the game is. This ranger has no parents, he grew in Friguld, always wanted to be a good guy and inside the law, and the very moment he got adult he vanished from there and begun his adventures.
A warrior, human. The spit image of Grissenda, in past and probably in body too. But not in personality. She wants to get stronger, find her family's riches, make her name known, and by her own merits... well... complete her mission. (I won't give spoilers, hehehe).
Then the last one, I am going to convince my girlfriend to make a Cleric and make her character very closely to Hirge. She has this personallity in real life, so it'll be easy for her.

As for the campaign, I'm seeing with them if we'll open it in 12/09 or in 12/16. Still in doubt, but we know it'll be only this opening this year. After the reveillon we will be back and really begin the campaign.
As you already saw, I am trying to make them create characters that would be fitting in all the factions: The Three; Golden Hand; Royal Loreseekers; The high plates of the 4 kingdoms; Wizard and Warrior guilds; Seventh House and the Varannari. Each of them will have big roles in lots of moments. This way will let me drive the campaign easier and make them play with it easier too, even if it looks not.

That's it for today! I'll soon say the day, get everything ready and then we'll make the opening session! See y'all. Have a good game!

the deadgod

this is incredible and wonderful, I am a big fan of D&D, my father introduced me to this miracle, but since I started going to college until now, I have neither time nor acquaintances, and it seems that such an opportunity will not appear in the near future, but I’m very happy for you and your friends, what you are doing is damn cool, it’s a pity that I don’t have so much time, and I’m not good enough to learn Portuguese in 24 hours