I waste any potential I may possess doing data entry because I am an introvert. I live uncomfortably for small moments of peace of mind that comfort me. Maybe I don't want enough for myself. I don't feel like I change my mind often. I am observing everyone here and their interesting vocational choices and I feel like I should change my mind. Getting out of bed every day just feels confusing - nothing appears straightforward to me beyond the nagging instinct of survival: eat food, drink water, pay rent. Life’s too short for people to not be straightforward, I think. You’re wasting your time and it’s just lost opportunity to be doing something else. Except maybe like, you can’t really view life that way - if you do, it’s just perpetually decaying opportunity. And it isn’t that. It’s much more than just that. The present is constant - the present is forever, and the present is what it means to truly be alive. This very moment is life, and when the moment passes it becomes death. In every sense, I guess life is withering - but the beauty in it all is we have the choice to live other lives, but coincidence and some influence brought us to the one life we are living right now. And there’s hope in that. The problem with people is they get too caught up in that notion, and subsequently live without any sense of urgency. We are not entirely sure when we will die, so we live life as if it were an infinite commodity. We treat seemingly trivial things in life as inexhaustible, but really - how many more times will you get to see the sun rise and set? How many more breaths will you take? How many more times will you get to watch the seasons cycle? Events so arbitrary and yet so integral to reality that we cannot even begin to conceive our existence without them - it all just appears so limitless and we dismiss it as such. People that existed hundreds of years ago once lived the lives you and I are currently living. They’re dead now. We’re the present, but the moment will eventually pass and we too will eventually die. I feel as if youth is wasted on me, is wasted on the young - as if life is squandered away among the living. I feel like if I already knew who I wanted to be, I wouldn’t have to worry about my whole life ahead of me; but, death will come like lightning, and the punch line of nonexistence will come like thunder. I don’t have a fear of dying, but at the same time I don’t really want to die - and at the same, same time I don’t want to die as someone who wasn’t true to them self. I don’t want to turn back and see someone who couldn’t be straightforward with people without any extrinsic motive; but, honestly… we can’t have everything - that would be too rich.